I am perpetually amazed at the obsession with how we perceive ourselves and others. We continue to be a people of time building substance. A nation driven by selfies, drudging through today only to get to tomorrow. And I am definitely not immune. But I do have a system that works for me, and I’ll share that with you shortly.
What does “time building substance” mean?
It means we put far too much value on :
- What we’ve done during our lives
- What we haven’t done during our lives
- The balance of good done vs the bad over our lifetime
When I look back on my life for instance – sometimes, I feel like my father died because I didn’t do enough while he was alive. I feel a negative energy that tells me it was my fault. Mostly because of the time spent and interaction with others after he died. Words that they said hurt, and some people left and never came back.
But in reality – we are all missing a vitally important element when we look at our own time building substance.
What are we doing NOW? Right now?
Change isn’t easy – especially when you are trying to undo 20, 30, 40, sometimes 50 years of habitual behavior patterns that are in your way. But ask yourself honestly – “What AM I DOING RIGHT NOW to make this life better?”
And don’t make this rocket science. It’s just a question. Not a competition, an exploration. Here’s what I do to help :
Firstly, Treat yourself honestly. You have the potential to be your own worst enemy, but also your biggest fan. For example – In my own honest reflection – I have been the best of friends to some, but the most unreliable and selfish person with others. I despise how I treated the people around during the times I wasn’t the “real” me.
Secondly, I let myself off the hook more each day. Self forgiveness can be tough, but in batches – it’s healing and replenishing. For example – Today I am forgiving myself for being overprotective of my daughter last month. Yes – last month. But – I’m moving on and so is she. It feels good, and settled. Settling gives a sense of completion.
Lastly, Don’t sweat the small stuff. You may have to look at all the small stuff daily – but you don’t have to deal with them all at once. Pace yourself.
Your selfie should be a portrait of who you are right now, not fragmented pieces of who you were. Not years of baggage, but a proclamation of your success today.